Decision-making has really changed for me recently. Gone are the days when I made elaborate lists of Pros and Cons and agonized. OK, not totally gone, but mostly. Mostly it’s a whole lot easier than that.
Take this upcoming vacation to Maui in January, which came about entirely because of a dream. In the dream, I was standing on a tropical beach looking out at the ocean, and it was warm and the water was gorgeous and I had this full-body delicious feeling of happiness. And then, in the dream, a whale breached right in front of me, close to shore. I watched, transfixed, and as it landed on its back, the whale waved the tip of its flipper at me, waved like it was saying Hi! I woke up laughing, still awash in that happy, I’m on the beach, feeling. I thought back to the last time we were in Maui, in a January years ago, and how many whales there were. That even when snorkeling, if you dove down and held still, you could hear them singing, and how I thought my heart would just pop from joy hearing that. And then I thought, hmmm, that’s where I’d really like to spend my birthday in January, and from there it was a no-brainer to have a few quick conversations, book the airbnb and the tickets and make it so.
All because the whale said Hi.
Sometimes decision-making is just that easy.
OK, I know: it’s a little goofy. I fully acknowledge and embrace the goofiness of that decision. Emphasis on the “I embrace it.” I actually love that I’m going to Hawaii because a dream-whale waved at me.
Because why not? Because what else is the point of being here, of being alive, of working so hard, of earning a living, if not to follow, sometimes, the goofy that emerges from our minds when we’re not working so hard to keep order in there?
Something I’ve learned really recently is how good it is for me not to effort so much at everything, to let go and see what happens, to watch, quietly, as things take their course. This is a brand-new skill for me, one that thrills me, even as it totally terrifies me. You know what it feels like?
It feels like wisdom.
Which is funny, because who would equate a whale waving hi with wisdom, right? But I know now that that’s exactly what it is. Wisdom is listening to that impulse, feeling into that inner pulse, and trusting. Because obvies, since it was a dream, that whale is me, is the expression of some want in me made manifest in that dream-space.
And there’s just no way to deny how happy it made me feel, waking up laughing from that silliness and basking in the warmth of that imagined beach, imagined sand between my toes. I just felt so delighted, and wanted with everything in me, every sun-kissed inch, to go back there, to stay in that feeling.
So I did the only thing that made sense: I made it real.
In January, we’ll be there, and there will come a moment when I’m standing on an actual beach looking out at the actual ocean. The chances of a whale breaching right there, right in front of me, of the whole dream playing out in real life like it did in my head – well, that’s not too likely. But every whale I do see, every bit of whale song I do hear underwater, holding my breath, heart pounding with excitement, it’ll all be waving at me, saying Hi. And I’ll be grinning, deeply happy, waving back.